New Job = New Challenges

When we come across the term ‘promotion’ at work, we often think about the glorious fat paycheque or the fabulous new job title. Although they are indeed some of the perks associated with a new position, we must not fool ourselves to believe this change in level does not come with new challenges. Following my latest promotion, I felt compelled to share some of the key lessons I’ve learned so far in this role. I've experienced a variety of emotions and thought my lessons learned (so far) may be of use to you:

BABY STEPS
The irony of a promotion is to that on the exterior you’ve elevated but internally you know you’ve somewhat mentally regressed and have a new road of learning ahead of you. I recently left a Quality Management position where I was respected as somewhat of an ‘expert’ in my field to venture into the new world of Data Privacy where (though I have developed the key skills require) I will have to learn all over again in order to once again become an expert. I understand that this will require a lot of effort on my part. I will have to venture into new project and challenges and make mistakes along the way in order to ultimately develop and learn. I will also have to work very closely with those who lead and manage me, and once again become a sponge - soaking up all the knowledge and wisdom around me.

THE CHALLENGES
Once I digested the excitement of getting the promotion, a very familiar terror began to brew inside...fear of change i.e being uncomfortable. Most successful people are ambitious - they constantly seek opportunities for development and challenge their capabilities.  This ultimately involves being uncomfortable i.e stepping out of your comfort zone. This is by no means an easy task - in fact it's something I still find myself trying to come to terms with.

Stepping out of your comfort zone means admitting you don't know everything - this can especially feel daunting if you’re promoted to a position where you’re expected to know it all. However the simple remedy to lack of knowledge is an appetite to learn. Not only will (should!) your organisation support you in development, we have the glorious vault of information called the world wide web. Every week I make an effort to block out an hour or two to focus strictly of my development - this includes watching online webinars and taking notes from useful posts/forums.

Another aspect of a promotion to anticipate is challenges/difficulties - both with colleagues/stakeholder and also with completing various tasks. A job promotion often means changing teams, which would involve working with a new/different set of people. Our colleagues play a major part in our overall work experience. Therefore moving forward will require an effort to understand the new people surrounding you - this means to establish your allies and also understand who the more difficult ones are. No project goes through smoothly without at least the smallest challenge. I find that it's very important to always remember the skillsets you have developed in previous roles and utilise it to the best of your abilities.

ADAPTING
Somehow as you continue to overcome the challenges in your new role and develop resilience, over time you realise you are now an expert. Colleagues come to you for help/advice and you seem to always have the answer. You provide very useful feedback for new developments. You constantly seek areas for improvement and work towards driving the function of your role forward. You may even find that after everything, you eventually grow bored! At this stage we usually find ourselves ready for a new challenge which usually leads to the job search, which ultimately leads back to the first stage (again!)

I believe for the ambitious, this is an ongoing process - almost like a hamster wheel. So long as we wish to advance and improve, we will have to keep learning and developing and ultimately increase our capacity for greatness. I can understand why entrepreneurs always advise us to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Once we admit to ourselves that we do not know everything, and strive to make the efforts required to learn, we are surely on the right track for excellence.

I hope this post was of use to you. I myself have just realised yet another thing I will have to learn in this role. I’m hoping to be positive and determined about this in order to overcome and move forward.

Love & Peace

Jen Noir

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Ignoring the Signs...

Image Credit: @amandaoleander

I’m currently reading this amazeballs book (‘Women Who Run With the Wolves’) by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, who really delves into the female psyche to examine and explain various aspects of our behaviour. This lead me to reflect and think deeply about women in general and question why we tend to do some of the things we do, especially with regards to relationships. It’s no surprise or shock that women are often described as obsessed with dating and relationships - I can't count the amount of times I’ve overheard females openly express their frustration with their partners - I for one am also guilty of this. We spend so long trying to understand every minute detail about our mating partners that we forget to use the same amount of energy to understand ourselves and our feelings. For this post I will attempt to think out loud regarding how we as females can explore our psyche in order to ultimately make better decisions….

WISHFUL THINKING

I believe as females we possess a unique ability to not only respond to and anticipate our present situations but also weigh up the pros and cons of potential long term situations. However, I believe this very unique ability can contribute to our demise when it comes to the subject of ‘love’. Take me for example - in my previous relationship with Sean (let's call him Sean for privacy's sake), I definitely was struck with a form of...let’s call it “Wishful Thinking Syndrome” (not a medical diagnosis!). There were various aspects of Sean that really atrracted me; he was very hard working, did really well for himself financially, was always there for his friends and was also very in touch with our African culture. As fascinating as all these characteristics were, they only attributed for my present situation with Sean and by no means accounted for who he would be (concerning our relationship) in the future.

I translated his hard-working ability and good finances to mean he could provide for me (if I ever needed) and (hopefully) spoil me with gifts. I translated his very logical mind and displayed dependability to assume he would be invested in my personal development and be available to advise me whenever I needed. Worst of all, I translated his cultural awareness/connection to our African culture to mean he would (relatively soon) be ready for marriage/starting a family. To no surprise, the high expectations came crashing down before me, which leads to my next point…

IGNORING THE SIGNS

While I glamorised and held very highly Sean’s good points/points I felt would benefit me, I failed to pay attention to the issues he did not hesitate to present. There were various odd occurrences I somehow chose to be oblivious to - the fact that after two years of being in said relationship he refused to leave his mobile phone alone in a room with me. Or the fact that he received phone calls (at odd hours in the night) from a female he claimed was his sister. Oh, and let’s not forget when he would go on vacations to Africa and give me absolute radio silence. Not to talk of showing up to my place empty handed on my birthday or outright declining my proposal to explore the possibility of moving in together. I’m by no means a saint nor am I a victim, as I most definitely gave my share of raged revenge. However, in the grand scheme of things, I chose to stay in a relationship much longer that I should have because of my Wishful Thinking for a future that could never truly be. Typing this now, I realise how ridiculous I was to ignore such signs, but when we open ourselves to fall in love, it's very difficult to exercise logic. This leads to my next point…

INTUITION

Every female being has a unique voice within that guides us in this great journey called ‘life’. Whether it reminds us to take an umbrella, or not to wear those heels (as we’ll regret it later) or the bigger/deeper messages such as somethings up or he’s hiding something. We all have that voice, that intuition. I feel we quite often do not pay that voice enough attention and it ultimately becomes very quiet or even worse silent. Though I fell deeply in love with Sean, there was a (potentially) pivotal point where my intuition flagged up the red flags and warned me all was not as it seemed. Unfortunately, the volume of my intuition was not as high as that of my Wishful Thinking - which I chose to listen to over and over again. Though falling in love can be an amazing experience, it often leaves us very vulnerable and open to (dare I say) abuse and mistreatment. Looking back, I realise how important it is to see people for who they are and not what they can be - to listen to my intuition as she is always right. If anything, I would advise to take your time with dating, get to know the different depths of your partner before daring to bring your (precious and often fragile) heart to the table. Because once your heart is involved, logic is basically out the window!